Cursors Writing little mademoiselle.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
To fit in ~ to belong or conform
to feel part of a situation you find ideal.


Belong ~ To be a part of, or connected with;
to be appendant or related.

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"And I could see it clearly once when you were here with me. And now somehow all that's left are pieces of a dream."

-

I felt like I really fitted in, where do I belong?

Do you know the feeling of at one moment living the happiest life you've ever lived, and the next moment it all being over? The feeling of being with such amazing people and really feeling you belong to them and that you totally fit in, and then the next moment you have to live without them or at least feel like you have to, for a while. At this point I feel like there's something missing in my life: a goal.

I've lived an amazing life the last few months. I've never been happier and felt so motivated, strong and like I was on top of the world. Unfortunately all good things come to an end and that's what happened here too. I feel so frustrated trying to get back that feeling, that feeling that I can do anything, that I'm going to school for something, that I'm getting up every morning for a reason, that I have a family that supports me and is proud of me.

I'm on my own now, even though I know that every person has to create his or her own luck, it's hard to be on my own again - all of the sudden. I was used to being alone before this situation, but I got so attached and "used" to what I had the past few months that now my world is crumbling apart, as it feels. At this point I feel like I'll never be as happy as I was a few days ago and all the months before.

This is all written at a certain point where I'm full of emotion, feeling terrible and so alone and sad. I hope to soon be able to stand up and create my own luck, to inspire other people like I've always been able to do: by going on, staying strong. But I'm also just human, and I also happen to have some feelings.
posted by Janetski. at 2:14 PM |

6 Comments:

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At May 17, 2009 at 6:01 AM, Blogger Pearl said........
Naw. I know all good things come to an end, but bad things do, also. I hope things work out well. Tough times are just phases, like happy ones. Think of it this way, you had stacks of stuff to look forward to -waking up in the morning, going to school...- now you can have the hope to overcome this situation, to bring things back to semi-normal.

I know I sound like an "it'll be okay" person, I'm usually not. Its okay to let your feelings out, but just remember, things will work out in the end if you have the hope to make you strong.

You can do it;).


Pearl.

p.s.
Its good to see you're still blogging. I was wondering why I hadn't had any updates...
 


At May 20, 2009 at 8:22 AM, Blogger Pearl said........
Thanks!
Your comment was lovely :).

Well I live in Melbourne, Australia, but we're just starting winter now, so everyday is cold. But the forecast this week looks pretty warm, low twenties. I hate Melbourne weather sometimes. You never know when to leave the jacket at home or take the umbrella. So unpredictable.

Is it really cold in Holland? I'm guessing it is.

Thanks for wishing my luck on my exams and what not, God knows I'm gonna need it! :(
 


At October 21, 2009 at 2:16 AM, Anonymous 1King Aasir Abdallah said........
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At November 19, 2009 at 2:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said........
HI!JANET,UR DREAMS ARE SWEET TO ME GAL,MAY GOD GRANT U THE POWER FOR U TO BE ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH ALL UR GOALS.THIS IS UR FRIEND QUAME ON TWITTER.
 


At December 6, 2009 at 3:32 PM, Anonymous miko said........
hi my good friend.. luck is like a hero.. being there at the right time and place... it comes when you least expect it.... miko
 


At December 10, 2009 at 6:41 AM, Anonymous Diana Bower Phillips said........
Wow, this is soooo sad, and yes, it made me feel the sadness, so... Good Writing! ...and I'm sorry you went though this. Hmmm, dropping away from a bunch of friends... sounds like something I did, hmmm, very recently :) and I've been there in more real ways in the past - though on the emotions. You seem better/more happy these days. I hope that is the case. Either way, I'm always willing to help/talk. You aren't alone.