Cursors Writing little mademoiselle.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
To whom it may concern;
I have lost friends and I have gained friends,
I have had great laughs and shed painful tears.
I have had to say goodbye to people, even a last goodbye.
I have been stabbed in the back, I have been loved like never before.
I have gained about a million memories, both good and bad.
I have gotten two years older and two years wiser.
I have dreamed bigger dreams than ever before, and
I have conquered many fears, and also gained many more.

Belated Merry Christmas and a happy 2011, and of course, may 2012 be all you dream of.
Yes, it has been almost two years since I actually wrote my last blog entry. I admit, I even forgot it was there.
I hope you will all forgive me for doing so, and thank you all so very much for taking the time to read this.

A lot of great things have happened while I failed to update my blog. I graduated college and started university,
I dropped out of university because it was too expensive and I started working and traveling.
Something I had always wanted to do, and this was the perfect time for me, I am still young and I can still go back to school after.
I went to a couple of swell places in Europe and I visited the other side of the pond for the first time. They were all absolutely fabulous experiences. Experiences I never would have wanted to miss out on.

Now, in 2012 I am a little bit lost. I will be twenty three this summer and I do not want to be in university still at the age of thirty,
so I will have to go back soon. There are still so many places I want to visit. So many things I want to do.

I want to study language and communication,
I want to be the only one in my family to ever get accepted to any university.
I want to visit my friends in America and Canada before I won't be able to do so anymore because of school,
I want to write, I want I want I want.
I want so many things, and the things I want can't all take place at the same time.
I want time to not go by so fast.

The fact that my future, or any future for that matter, is insecure makes me really nervous. I think I have an angst of the unknown and an angst of change. Even though my life is far from perfect I am not thrilled to change it too much. Is that strange? It sounds strange.
On the other hand if I would get offered my big break right now I would take it immediately. How can a mind be so contradicting I wonder.
All I can do is wait, study, enjoy and do the very best I can.

I do realize this all must sound just a tad bit depressing - believe me, I am not.
Once I start writing my head just gets filled with all these thoughts and ideas, similar to what happens when I should sleep yet can't.
All of this being said, I love my life. I love my friends. I love my family. I just need to find my way to greatness and success.
I am positive that this will be another life changing year in which I hope you will all stick around.

Wish me luck!

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posted by Janetski. at 11:10 PM | 10 comments
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Twitter ~ a state of tremulous excitement
to talk lightly and rapidly, esp. of trivial matters; chatter.

Tweet ~ to make a sound
a weak chirping sound, as of a young small bird.


A year and a half ago I had never heard of microblogging and when I did hear about it I did not want to participate in any form of it, period. I thought it was rediculous, a waste of time and I especially found it stupid. I thought updating my Facebook, Myspace and Hyves was enough of sharing as it was and when I heard about this website called Twitter I swore I would never ever create an account on that website.

Then Twitter started to get more and more popular, Twitters´ growth became newsworthy and was generating press interest, and honestly; my interest grew along with all it's media attention. At that point there was only one person I knew that "tweeted", and when I asked him about it my prejudice appeared to be nonsense and I decided to give it a go. I registered on Twitter on April Fools' last year, and soon I found a few interesting people to "follow" on there. Before I knew it I had gotten to know some great people on there and I am actually still in contact with those I love.

For some reason I found the hundredandforty characters limit to be somewhat interesting. After I had been tweeting for a while I caught myself on even sort of thinking in hundredandforty characters. At first I thought it was a signal for me to get taken into Twehab, but apparently a lot of my friends started suffering from the same symptoms.

Randomly I posted what I wass thinking about, or what I was doing at that moment. For some reason people seemed to find my tweets interesting and meanwhile I must have spoken to hundreds of people on there. Do not ask me why, but at this very moment there are over eighthundredandfifty people finding my tweets worthy of showing up in their timelines, and most importantly I have really made some true friends. I just want to give those that I have met on there a big shoutout, as they truly enrich my daily life, and have become the people that have gotten to know me much better than a lot of so called friends in real life.

I love that you are all wonderful, intelligent, funny and brighten up any sad moment I choose share. A lot of people will probably not understand why we would contact people that we have never really met or seen, but as long as we know we can count on eachother. Cheers to all of you, I love you, and see you out on Twitter!

PS: I do realize this blog is a very badly written one, I've still got a fever and haven't really looked it over. Promise to write a better one next time!

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posted by Janetski. at 10:37 PM | 13 comments
Friday, December 4, 2009
Absolutely ~ definately and completely; unquestionably
no doubt about that, certainly.

Fabulous ~ barely credible; astonishing
extremely pleasing or succesful.


Once upon a time there was British tvshow about a group of women, called 'Absolutely Fabulous'. The millions of viewers of this show loved the adventures of Eddie, Saffy, Patsy and their senile mothers and starstruck secretaries. In my most humble opinion this show was absolutely fabulous indeed.

But why did the name of the show refer to those women? Nobody would want a life like Eddie's, Saffy's, Patsy's, let alone the life of their senile mothers. Eddie and Patsy were both over forty, alcoholics and used all kinds of drugs. Eddie was even a mother with a midlife-crisis "on the side", and Patsy couldn't keep one single relationship, and therefore slept with younger men.

They certainly weren't succesful, but they were extremely pleasing; to the viewers that was, myself included.

This got me thinking, the definition of fabulous shouldn't be called a definition. It should be called a point of view. Everybody has his or her own opinion on what is or isn't fabulous, right? I think my life is fabulous, and I'm no alcoholic, drugaddict, mother or nymfphomaniac. I'm not extremely succesful, and you readers are the ones to judge if I am pleasing or astonishing.

You can have a fabulous life who ever and how ever you are. As I have written before: people have to create their own luck. I myself am an extremely hardworking student, I'm not able to spend too much money and do not have a very social life these days; but my amazing friends and family, and of course my aspiration and inspiration make my life absolutely fabulous. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Eddie, Saffy, Patsy and their senile mothers and starstruck secretaries got canceled, but they inspired me to write this; so they have been here for plenty of reasons, aside of being extremely pleasing.

To you, my reader: you are absolutely fabulous, and you make my life astonishing.

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posted by Janetski. at 12:39 AM | 11 comments
Saturday, May 16, 2009
To fit in ~ to belong or conform
to feel part of a situation you find ideal.

Belong ~ To be a part of, or connected with;
to be appendant or related.


"And I could see it clearly once when you were here with me. And now somehow all that's left are pieces of a dream."


I felt like I really fitted in, where do I belong?

Do you know the feeling of at one moment living the happiest life you've ever lived, and the next moment it all being over? The feeling of being with such amazing people and really feeling you belong to them and that you totally fit in, and then the next moment you have to live without them or at least feel like you have to, for a while. At this point I feel like there's something missing in my life: a goal.

I've lived an amazing life the last few months. I've never been happier and felt so motivated, strong and like I was on top of the world. Unfortunately all good things come to an end and that's what happened here too. I feel so frustrated trying to get back that feeling, that feeling that I can do anything, that I'm going to school for something, that I'm getting up every morning for a reason, that I have a family that supports me and is proud of me.

I'm on my own now, even though I know that every person has to create his or her own luck, it's hard to be on my own again - all of the sudden. I was used to being alone before this situation, but I got so attached and "used" to what I had the past few months that now my world is crumbling apart, as it feels. At this point I feel like I'll never be as happy as I was a few days ago and all the months before.

This is all written at a certain point where I'm full of emotion, feeling terrible and so alone and sad. I hope to soon be able to stand up and create my own luck, to inspire other people like I've always been able to do: by going on, staying strong. But I'm also just human, and I also happen to have some feelings.
posted by Janetski. at 2:14 PM | 6 comments
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Aspiration ~ a will to succeed
ambition: a cherished desire; "his ambition is to own his own business"

Inspiration ~ arousal of the mind to special unusual activity or creativity
a product of your creative thinking and work.


The resemblance? You need them both to be- or become a writer. My head starts spinning, how do I become a writer when I need both at all times? I need to be able to write whenever an article is needed, I will have deadlines, I won't be able to decide when to write myself.. I do have aspiration to become a writer, but there is so much competition. Will I be able to remain standing? Will I have inspiration at any time? I cannot imagine.

And another thing, what exactly do I want to write about? I would love to have my own column, but I would have to be welknown- or better yet: famous or wanting to write about sports or economy to make that happen. I would love to write scenarios, but you will not get a job like that without any experience. And how does one get experience any way without getting a job because of lack of experience?

These are all kinds of questions that keep playing over and over in my head, it drives me crazy not knowing what my future will look like. Can I do it, am I really able to do it? Or is it just a dream, never to come true, or a goal that I will never reach? It is very frustrating to just not know. At this very moment I do have aspiration and inspiration, which moved me to create a brand new blog, I haven't had one for a year now. I will keep everyone that's reading posted about my -hopefully- upcoming carreer as a writer, and hope to make my first dream come true by getting accepted at the school of writing in a year.

Until that time, I will write, and I will do it here. I hope to get honest opinions and nice comments from every person that reads my blog, feedback helps me clear my head. I will tell you a bit about myself, but I do not have any inspiration to do that right now. ;-)

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posted by Janetski. at 12:25 PM | 10 comments