Writing little mademoiselle.

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Name: Janetski.
Home: Amsterdam, Netherlands
About Me: ♥ to live, laugh and love. I'm a twenty two year old writer with two bent pinkies and I love headbands and big sunglasses.

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To whom it may concern.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

To whom it may concern;

I have lost friends and I have gained friends,

I have had great laughs and shed painful tears.

I have had to say goodbye to people, even a last goodbye.

I have been stabbed in the back, I have been loved like never before.

I have gained about a million memories, both good and bad.

I have gotten two years older and two years wiser.

I have dreamed bigger dreams than ever before, and

I have conquered many fears, and also gained many more.

Belated Merry Christmas and a happy 2011, and of course, may 2012 be all you dream of.

Yes, it has been almost two years since I actually wrote my last blog entry. I admit, I even forgot it was there.

I hope you will all forgive me for doing so, and thank you all so very much for taking the time to read this.

A lot of great things have happened while I failed to update my blog. I graduated college and started university,

I dropped out of university because it was too expensive and I started working and traveling.

Something I had always wanted to do, and this was the perfect time for me, I am still young and I can still go back to school after.

I went to a couple of swell places in Europe and I visited the other side of the pond for the first time. They were all absolutely fabulous experiences. Experiences I never would have wanted to miss out on.

Now, in 2012 I am a little bit lost. I will be twenty three this summer and I do not want to be in university still at the age of thirty,

so I will have to go back soon. There are still so many places I want to visit. So many things I want to do.

I want to study language and communication,

I want to be the only one in my family to ever get accepted to any university.

I want to visit my friends in America and Canada before I won't be able to do so anymore because of school,

I want to write, I want I want I want.

I want so many things, and the things I want can't all take place at the same time.

I want time to not go by so fast.

The fact that my future, or any future for that matter, is insecure makes me really nervous. I think I have an angst of the unknown and an angst of change. Even though my life is far from perfect I am not thrilled to change it too much. Is that strange? It sounds strange.

On the other hand if I would get offered my big break right now I would take it immediately. How can a mind be so contradicting I wonder.

All I can do is wait, study, enjoy and do the very best I can.

I do realize this all must sound just a tad bit depressing - believe me, I am not.

Once I start writing my head just gets filled with all these thoughts and ideas, similar to what happens when I should sleep yet can't.

All of this being said, I love my life. I love my friends. I love my family. I just need to find my way to greatness and success.

I am positive that this will be another life changing year in which I hope you will all stick around.

Wish me luck!

Labels: angst, blog, future, life, scared, time, unknown, update

posted by Janetski. at 11:10 PM

10 Comments:

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At April 1, 2012 at 12:18 AM, Anonymous said........

No, your blog doesn't sound depressing. But do remember that things never turn our the way you think they will! Love life to the fullest in the present moment. What you think expands, so keep it positive. Surround yourself without positive people. Each day try not to be judgmental. So very hard. The best teachers in life are those who've made it the hardest on us. Good always comes out of bad. All things happen for a reason. You may not know why, but in time you will. Keep writing!!! :)
~Sherry (twitter.com @LShalottCamelot)

At April 1, 2012 at 12:24 AM, Anonymous said........

Hi Pippi its me anonymous I commented 2 years ago too. This time Im going to leave a sensible comment.
I really think you should be a writer. English is your second language and you have a way with words. I think you will reach your goals for real just keep pushing to get there and don't let anyone or anything stop you !

At April 1, 2012 at 12:41 AM, Janetski. said........

Thank you so much Sherry, that means a lot coming from you. You're such an inspiration. All my love to you and your king. xo

At April 1, 2012 at 12:42 AM, Janetski. said........

Thanks so much J that means a big bunch! I really want to be a writer too! Such a big compliment coming from a native. xxx

At April 1, 2012 at 12:48 AM, Anonymous said........

Beautiful words, dear. Your blog made a lot of sense. Changes can be very daunting and not knowing what the future holds can be scary, as you never know what will happen or is lurking around the next corner. But I guess that's just what life is about, not knowing. Gosh I know what you mean about not wanting to be 30 and still in university, I'm turning 24 and I'm not getting anywhere with my university. I don't want to be 30 and still school, but the odds are I will be. Coming to terms with the fact that life throws you curveballs and puts you on all sorts of tangents you didn't expect, can also be hard. But remember no matter where you're headed that "a part of the fun is the climb".

Your identical stranger

At April 1, 2012 at 12:51 AM, Janetski. said........

You are so right my identical stranger, I love your outlook on this. It is very scary and intimidating and at the same time exciting. I guess knowing what was in store for us would not be any fun, still I'd like to know SOME things.. Thanks for commenting honey, I love you! xo

At April 1, 2012 at 12:53 AM, jafeth said........

LOVED IT!!!! Youve got talent! And Nope it doesnt sound depressing it sounds like a woman with wisdom :)
Jafeth

At April 1, 2012 at 12:55 AM, Janetski. said........

Awwww thank you honey, I love you! <3

At April 1, 2012 at 9:35 AM, Mariaa29 said........

You're just a girl with lots of talent. keep your head up, you'll get there! xoxo MariaTamara

At April 1, 2012 at 6:53 PM, Unknown said........

I know how you feel I was there to , lost but your not lost , your still discovering always experiencing new things , I think your an extremely talented young woman , keep your head high , your destine for great things , l really love this blog entry and I will read the rest of it :)