To whom it may concern;
I have lost friends and I have gained friends,
I have had great laughs and shed painful tears.
I have had to say goodbye to people, even a last goodbye.
I have been stabbed in the back, I have been loved like never before.
I have gained about a million memories, both good and bad.
I have gotten two years older and two years wiser.
I have dreamed bigger dreams than ever before, and
I have conquered many fears, and also gained many more.
Belated Merry Christmas and a happy 2011, and of course, may 2012 be all you dream of.
Yes, it has been almost two years since I actually wrote my last blog entry. I admit, I even forgot it was there.
I hope you will all forgive me for doing so, and thank you all so very much for taking the time to read this.
A lot of great things have happened while I failed to update my blog. I graduated college and started university,
I dropped out of university because it was too expensive and I started working and traveling.
Something I had always wanted to do, and this was the perfect time for me, I am still young and I can still go back to school after.
I went to a couple of swell places in Europe and I visited the other side of the pond for the first time. They were all absolutely fabulous experiences. Experiences I never would have wanted to miss out on.
Now, in 2012 I am a little bit lost. I will be twenty three this summer and I do not want to be in university still at the age of thirty,
so I will have to go back soon. There are still so many places I want to visit. So many things I want to do.
I want to study language and communication,
I want to be the only one in my family to ever get accepted to any university.
I want to visit my friends in America and Canada before I won't be able to do so anymore because of school,
I want to write, I want I want I want.
I want so many things, and the things I want can't all take place at the same time.
I want time to not go by so fast.
The fact that my future, or any future for that matter, is insecure makes me really nervous. I think I have an angst of the unknown and an angst of change. Even though my life is far from perfect I am not thrilled to change it too much. Is that strange? It sounds strange.
On the other hand if I would get offered my big break right now I would take it immediately. How can a mind be so contradicting I wonder.
All I can do is wait, study, enjoy and do the very best I can.
I do realize this all must sound just a tad bit depressing - believe me, I am not.
Once I start writing my head just gets filled with all these thoughts and ideas, similar to what happens when I should sleep yet can't.
All of this being said, I love my life. I love my friends. I love my family. I just need to find my way to greatness and success.
I am positive that this will be another life changing year in which I hope you will all stick around.
Wish me luck!
Labels: angst, blog, future, life, scared, time, unknown, update
posted by Janetski. at 11:10 PM