Cursors Writing little mademoiselle.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
To fit in ~ to belong or conform
to feel part of a situation you find ideal.


Belong ~ To be a part of, or connected with;
to be appendant or related.

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"And I could see it clearly once when you were here with me. And now somehow all that's left are pieces of a dream."

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I felt like I really fitted in, where do I belong?

Do you know the feeling of at one moment living the happiest life you've ever lived, and the next moment it all being over? The feeling of being with such amazing people and really feeling you belong to them and that you totally fit in, and then the next moment you have to live without them or at least feel like you have to, for a while. At this point I feel like there's something missing in my life: a goal.

I've lived an amazing life the last few months. I've never been happier and felt so motivated, strong and like I was on top of the world. Unfortunately all good things come to an end and that's what happened here too. I feel so frustrated trying to get back that feeling, that feeling that I can do anything, that I'm going to school for something, that I'm getting up every morning for a reason, that I have a family that supports me and is proud of me.

I'm on my own now, even though I know that every person has to create his or her own luck, it's hard to be on my own again - all of the sudden. I was used to being alone before this situation, but I got so attached and "used" to what I had the past few months that now my world is crumbling apart, as it feels. At this point I feel like I'll never be as happy as I was a few days ago and all the months before.

This is all written at a certain point where I'm full of emotion, feeling terrible and so alone and sad. I hope to soon be able to stand up and create my own luck, to inspire other people like I've always been able to do: by going on, staying strong. But I'm also just human, and I also happen to have some feelings.
posted by Janetski. at 2:14 PM | 6 comments